Thailand’s Military Coup Leaders order Citizens to Be Happy

Smile, goddamnit. That’s an order.

There’s nothing that sucks away your potential happiness like when you’re upset, and someone yells at you to be happy. That’s what’s happening in Thailand, and pretty much nobody knows about it.

The military has been in power since last month, and aren’t showing any signs of bowing down to their civilians. That being said, just because you are a citizen in a military run country that you don’t want to be in, doesn’t mean you have to be so gloomy all the time.

To make matters worse, the military, which has replaced the government citizens ousted, is continuing to rewrite the constitution in Thailand in the same way that the previous government was, and citizens aren’t happy.

The military, in order to make people happy through a campaign called Return Happiness to the People, has been hosting free concerts with free food, and female dancers in miniskirts. What more do you need to be happy?

Apparently a lot more.

So the military government has now invaded radio frequencies, hosting a weekly radio address from the military ruler Gen Prayuth Chan-ocha, titled Bringing Back Happiness to the Nation. The address is also prefaced by a song called Return Happiness to Thailand.

I think that the new government is just trying to use the word happiness as many times as possible, so people will forget what that means, and think that they are happy, instead of, you know, living in George Orwell’s 1984. 


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