Man Admits To Having Sex With Over 700 Vehicles

He really knows how to turn cars on. 

63-Year-old Edward Smith admitted on a live morning TV show that he has had a sexual attraction to cars ever since he was fourteen years old. Furthermore, he stated that he has ‘made love’ to over 700 vehicles, including cars and even an attack helicopter.

Where the hell was this man left alone with an attack helicopter?

Smith admitted on the British family television show This Morning that he was a mecaphile, someone who is sexually attracted to machines. How that is possible is beyond me, but he claims to prefer to make love to cars more than women.

Now, it’s not like he is actually penetrating cars, he says that he just caresses them while he touches himself. In his words, “It has to do with the body itself. I’ve not been attached to any sort of penetration, but petting and hugging and feeling the body. I like feeling the satisfaction – masturbation – that’s done with the car, next to it.”

He said this on a family television show. I wonder how many nervous parents abruptly changed the channel.

Since 1982, Vince has been ‘seeing’ his VW Beetle Vanilla. He says they keep their relationship private, only getting intimate on his property. By the way, he claims to be in an open relationship with his car. However, he admitted in 2013 that he used to look at other cars on TV, at shows, or just driving by on the street and get impulses.

In his words, he said that he is ready to settle down with Vanilla. “There’s something about her that I can’t fully express on an emotional level except it’s very powerful and very sincere. I’m never ashamed or awkward in my heart. I have never questioned myself – I just love her.”

It’s a fucking car, dude.

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About thatguyowen

Writer, hopeful for the future. Aspiring web entrepreneur and always looking to create the next big thing. @YourStupidNews
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