Firefighters Braced For Spike In Calls Over Bondage Mishaps! Why?

Happy Valentine’s weekend.

The London Fire Brigade said that they are bracing themselves for a sudden spike in bondage mishaps this weekend, thanks to the theatrical release of the film Fifty Shades of Grey.

The Fire Brigade stated that it’s been called to awkward situations before, like when a man got a penis ring stuck, or when another man got his genitals stuck inside of a vacuum cleaner.

There would be no greater shame than having your genitals removed from a vacuum cleaner by another man.

Fans of the erotic novel, and this Valentine’s Day, film, Fifty Shades of Grey have been warned to use common sense when becoming a little more adventurous with their sexual escapades.

Dave Brown, Third Officer of the London Fire Brigade said: “The Fifty Shades effect seems to spike handcuff incidents so we hope film goers will use common sense and avoid leaving themselves red faced.”

A spokesman added: “Our advice is simple. If the (penis) ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on. As well as being painful, you could end up wasting emergency service time if you have to call us out.”

So not only is it embarrassing that firefighters have to launch a search and rescue mission for your genitals, now you know that they will resent you for it.

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About thatguyowen

Writer, hopeful for the future. Aspiring web entrepreneur and always looking to create the next big thing. @YourStupidNews
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